Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
