Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
