Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
