He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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