I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
