Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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