kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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