I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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