So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
