I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
