peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize
