There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
