smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
