The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Randomize
