Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
