absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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