At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
