I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I want her autograph on my taint
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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