today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
