areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
so much tequila, so little girl.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
