Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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