On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i will never coherently bang her
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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