butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
