Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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