My sheets look like a crime scene.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
