During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm experimenting with sincerity
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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