I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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