your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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