i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
