how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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