Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
