Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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