I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
