thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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