I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
