Your tits are I can't wait for
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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