About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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