do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
