I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
