Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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