I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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