I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
