I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
