i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
