is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
So apparently I’m into choking now
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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