I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
