ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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