I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
