Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
