yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
