Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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